The worst films of 2008

Well, we made it ladies and gents. It’s almost the end of 2008. There have been some great films released over the last 12 months, and its almost time to reveal my top 10. But before we enjoy the sweet, it’s always best to take a look at the sour.

Here are the 10 worst films of 2008 in all their terrifying glory. Let us know what you thought were the worst films of the year in the comments section below. In the meantime, enjoy!

This shoddily-made, toothless vampire flick was one of the biggest hits of 2008 for reasons I will never understand. Fans call it “the” love story of our generation, despite being the most abusive, masochistic relationship depicted on film in a long time. And what is the deal with Robert Pattinson’s hair? It’s a disgrace that this film even exists.

Mike Myers sheds all the goodwill he developed in Austin Powers, Wayne’s World and Shrek with a single film. His Guru Pitka might be the worst ever movie character in the history of film – annoyingly winking and laughing at the camera every other minute thinking we’re laughing right along with him. We’re really not.

This nonsensical collision of science fiction and angsty teen drama is a failure in almost every respect. Hayden Christensen’s “acting”; the flawed, irrational superpowers; Samuel L. Jackson’s hair. Can’t this film jump to another dimension?

Who does Michael Haneke think he is? Remaking his own Austrian film from 1997 in English. Why? Because he thinks Western audiences who missed out on the original need to be enlightened by the film’s message. The message? Filmgoers enjoy watching violence in the cinema, and should feel bad about it. Mr. Haneke, your film is a pretentious pile of rubbish. Now, Rambo. THAT’S a movie!

10,000: The number of years that seem to pass while watching the film. How stupid the film is on a scale of one to ten. The number of other films I would rather watch. The temperature in degrees Celsius that I would rather sit in than watch this film again. BC: Barely Competent. Brash and Crummy. Bland and coma-inducing. Boring and cheesy. I could go on all day.

Star Wars fans can take a lot of abuse. When the three prequels didn’t quell their adoration, it seemed nothing would. That was until The Clone Wars. A children’s film about trade disputes. A children’s film. About trade disputes.

I love this movie. Remember the bit where the guy feeds himself to the lion; or how about the crazy old lady at the end; or the incessant crow-barring of the word “happening” into every other sentence. I honestly don’t know if there was a more entertaining film this year. I certainly didn’t laugh harder watching anything else.

A lot of people (read: women) loved the Sex and the City movie. I know it, but I just don’t understand it. How can these shallow, unlikable, boring, she-devils be so beloved by women around the world? Come on ladies, you deserve better.

The filmmaking borders on incompetent, and the acting is almost embarrassing. But that opening scene almost made the whole thing worth it.

OK, I’ll admit it. I didn’t see either of these films. But I’m pretty certain they are two of the worst films ever made. Argue with me if you want, but be warned: you will be recognized as a Meet the Spartans sympathiser.

Alright, enough from me. What did YOU think were the worst films of 2008! Go on, don’t be shy. Anything goes!

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40 thoughts on “The worst films of 2008

  1. Has everyone forgotten the mistake that was Eagle Eye?And as for the happening…that was an entertaining movie, remember the crazy old lady? Good value if you ask me!

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  2. After seeing The Village I’ve gone right off all movies by M. Night Shyamalan. I try to like them but I’ve always got the feeling that I’m watching really long episodes of the Twilight Zone.

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  3. Women like the Sex and the City movie the way we love glossy fashion mags.It’s the masochism of buying a magazine/dvd that tells you you are fat, unfashionable and too poor to buy designer stuff-but maybe if you read/watch these things some of the perfection may rub off on you….generally it doesn’t and you are left feeling depressed and scoffing chocolate!

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  4. M. Night Shyamalan please STOP making movies. “The Happening” is by far this year’s worst… it’s so stupefyingly bad that it won’t ever make cult “bad” status. If you watch it, you’ll curse yourself for wasting your time.

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  5. Hmmm….bit of a pattern here… Hayden Christensen & Shia LeBoef. Hayden single-handedly destroyed the Star Wars empire with his woeful Anakin Skywalker and Shia wrecks everything he's in (Transformers,Indiana Jones, Eagle Eye). A dose of wooden acting, anyone?

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  6. Has no-one seen Dying Breed? Annoying characters, annoying cinematography and annoying direction. Even the sex scene was annoying. Why did the Tasmanian Police wear Vic police caps? And that final shot of an alleged Tasmanian Tiger looked like the Directors’ Pit-bull terrier with a few stripes sprayed on…

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  7. Wanted???Whats with a secret cult of assassins that decide who fate thinks needs to die with a loom!! Insanity… Maybe if I look at my t-shirt carefully enough it might tell me to run over with my car… :S

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  8. … a kids film about trade desputes! *LOL*i think you’ve nailed them all and I’m happy to say I’ve only seen one of the top ten, Jumper, and that was a 20+ hour flight. It was so incredibly dull I gave up on it. Usually I’d watch anything to pass the time but I just couldn’t do it.

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  9. haven’t seen Zombie Strippers … yet. But as far as im concerned, Jenna Jameson + Robert Englund = FTW!p.s – im looking forward to having a listen to your Southland Tales podcast. what a horribly, horribly misguided film.

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  10. I am a mature age male and loved reading the Stephenie Meyer series even though its meant for teenage girls. Personally I thought Twilight was very true to the book. If you are going to condemn a movie at least read the bloody book first!Yes Edward is like that in the book and so is Bella.

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  11. The book Twilight written by Steffanie Meyer is probably the best author I have ever heard of, the books wear Heartbraking, lovable, funny and every other kind of emotion and I think they did a pretty good job on the movie Twilight. It’s the best film i have EVER seen , and the person who made the bad comment about Twilight must just be a guy so all the other girls out there who love Twilight (especially me) keep on lovin it!!!!!!!!

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  12. Sex in the City one of the 10 worst films of the year? Er, not quite… The film certainly wasn’t the best I’ve seen this year, but nor was it the worst. Pretty much middling, really, and not as good as the series.For worst film, I’d vote for The Women. Vapid, vacuous, superficial and a waste of the considerable talents of an all-star cast. Eugh!

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  13. Get Smart – The Movie, The Women – poor remake of the 1937 original,Step-Brothers,The Mummy 3, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Journey to the Centre of the Earth,Dan in Real LifeI want my money back!

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  14. I know Australia has only just hit the big screen but I was pleasantly surprised. Not as bad as I expected. AND with Hugh taking his shirt off twice, who needs to look at Nicole anyway. ANd there was some comments about the bombing ; but if you are going to blow stuff up you may as well go for it and they did.

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  15. I’m not sure I’d put it on the worst list, but I didn’t like Dark Knight either. I’d go as far as boring. And as for Twilight, I’m female and I did read the first book, and i didn’t much like it. Definitely for the teenagers only. I’d also agree with Sex in the City. I liked the TV series, but found the movie lacked the sass and humour of the series.

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  16. Twilight was very well made and followed the book closely. I loved the book and respect the filmmakers for sticking to the story so well. The story is wonderfully portrayed on screen and is one of the best book to movie adaptations i’ve seen in a long time! So please read the book or have some knowledge of the story before passing judgments!

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  17. I watched a movie the other night called, The Pledge, with Jack Nicholson, Directed by Sean Penn. I was so disappointed with the whole movie.. It sucked!!!Another movie I expected to be really great but wasn’t.. No Country for Old Men.

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  18. The happening was pretty enjoyable I thought, what about the part when they saw all those people hanging from trees in one town, oooh spookey. These are the worst movies :southland talesjourney to the centre of the earthmy moms new boyfriendburn after reading isnt that great either. but a must see is death race awesome movie.

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  19. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.I wanted to like it. I really did.But I felt betrayed. Betrayed! I forbid my husband to even speak of that movie. Why did George Lucas have to murder another wonderful series of movies?Someone needs to lock him in a room where he can never make another movie.

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  20. Twilight is like brain cancer (see Sizzling Pigeons’ excellent critique here) but for my money, 10,000BC is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. It was so totally bad, I gagged on every ludicrous scene and stupid bit of dialogue until my sore throat (and brain) said: “enough, desist this vile travesty”.Dark Knight was pretty bad (OK, it totally sucked on nearly every level) and the pretentiously named Quantum of Solace (does anyone know what this means?) also left me (and the cinema audience I was with) totally deflated. These over-sold extravaganzas were nothing more than expensive sludge — utterly devoid of the qualities that made Batman and James Bond interesting or likeable in the first place. I haven’t seen Australia yet but my guess is that it will be Baz Lurhmann’s answer to Michael Cimino’s legendary 1980 box office disaster, Heaven’s Gate, in about 28 years — a curious collector’s item.

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  21. For being the biggest let-down of the year AND the worst sequel ever, I have to give Quantum of Solace the top prize for being a stinker. Casino Royale was great, then Mark Foster got control of Quantum & made a feeble copy of the Bourne movies. What little dialogue there is has no spark, the villian is a boggle-eyed little frenchman with no personality, & as for the action……SHEESH! Foster just crammed as much fast, badly cut slam bang action as he could into it, & STILL managed to make the film boring. I haven't seen editing that bad since my dad's old super8 movies! I'd been really looking forward to it & it was a massive disappointment. A great pity since I think Daniel Craig's a brilliant Bond, but Foster & his hacks in the editing suite didn't do him any favours.

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  22. I thought Australia was awesome – it really highlighted how white Australia saw the indiginous population – as animals.Could Mr. Anonymous kindly explain what they saw as being historically inaccurate?

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  23. There is good and bad and there is liking and not liking a film. For instance The Dark Knight was a good film no question about it, yet some people say they don’t like it, which is their prerogative. Quantum of Solace was a very bad movie but I still like it. And of course people are going to have different opinions because if we all liked and disliked the same movies it would be boring.

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