We’re kicking off Father’s Day a week early here at Quickflix. Check back here every day for a rundown of the best (and worst) dad’s in movies and television.
Today we’re naming (and shaming) the five worst dad’s on TV.
5. Homer Simpson – The Simpsons
Fatherly Advice: “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
He’s definitely lovable, but let’s not deny it – Homer Simpson should never have become a father. His kids didn’t turn out so great (Bart is sociopathic, Lisa has severe emotional issues, and Maggie hasn’t spoken in 20 years). Sure he loves them – but if he had to choose between TV, Duff Beer and his kids – well, let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.
Fatherly Advice: “Didn’t I teach you anything? You got a problem with your woman you don’t go out and get another one. Then you got two problems. “
The curmudgeonly Barone patriarch was a hard man to live under. Sure he had moments of sweetness. But it would’ve undeniably been a living hell to share a roof with this guy. Oh, and remember when he drove his car through Ray’s house! Hahah, that crazy old coot!
Fatherly Advice: “Gentlemen, we do not wave our genitals at one another to make a point!”
George Bluth’s indiscretions read like a rap sheet. Fitting, considering he is imprisoned for treason (well, light treason). He cheats on his wife. He steals money from his own company. He drugged his twin brother, shaved his head and then framed him for his crimes. And worst of all, he continually broke his promise to take his son Michael to the family cabin. But he did teach them plenty of valuable lessons, ie. Yelling too loudly will cause a man’s arm to be ripped off.
Fatherly Advice: “One thing my father taught me is that a pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold.”
Living in the Soprano household is kind of intense. I mean, imagine if this dude was YOUR dad?! As Soprano-philes will already know, things don’t always go so well for Tony’s kids AJ and Meadow – and most of the time its because of their father’s oppressive shadow. But he does his best. Like when he took Meadow on a road trip to help her pick a college. Oh, wait … he killed a guy on that trip. Nevermind.
Fatherly Advice: “How long does it take to find a bra? What’s going on in there? You know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups. You got the A, B, C the D. That’s the biggest.”
You have to be a pretty bad father to be considered worse than a serial drunk, an imprisoned traitor and a mobster. That’s how bad Frank Costanza is. Never once showing affection, pride, or even interest in George’s life, Frank only wants to mentally destroy his son. He did invent a holiday however – Festivus! The holiday consists of the “Airing of Grievances” and “Feats of Strength”, which is basically just Frank wrestling George. Maybe he just shows his love in different ways.